Wall-E will be way more adorable than whomever you’re dating
I know what you’re thinking. “Oh,” you say. “I’ll take this girl I really like to see Wall-E! It’s cute, it’s funny, and it’s a love story so she’ll think I’m really sensitive and want to give me kisses!”
Wrong.
The inherent problem with watching Wall-E is that almost every robot in that movie is at least fifteen times more adorable than you, or anyone you know, will ever be. Wall-E is the single cutest creature ever committed to film, Eve is a cute iPod-looking thing, and M-O steals the goddamn show in the very few scenes he in. Wall-E is an adorable movie, yes, but it’s so adorable that when it’s done, your date won’t be thinking about you — they’ll be thinking about seeing Wall-E again. You will have enjoyed yourself as well, but you’ll also have been officially cockblocked by a three-foot-tall metal box with no elbows.
No Country for Old Men is probably one of the most incredible movies ever made, but it’s not really something that says “hey, let’s have giddy, experimental sex afterward” to your date.
